I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have tasted many bathrooms
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
