I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
