I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
