I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
