she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
