Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
