I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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