Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
