We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
