the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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