the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
