Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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