just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
