Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
