Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize