yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
