Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is wine microwaveable?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
