I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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