Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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