I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just tell him i said nine months
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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