how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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