I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
