Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.

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(315): View more from New York

My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'

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(254): View more from Texas

I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.

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(951): View more from California

DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness

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(912): View more from Georgia

He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold

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(970): View more from Colorado

location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.

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