I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
