sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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