stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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