you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
