Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
