I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
