"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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