that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
