I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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