Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I need to align my fucking chakras
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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