a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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