either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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