similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
