Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize