Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Four minutes until I can fart!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
