You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
