super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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