i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I forget how to act sober
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
