This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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