Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
