He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
