like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize