i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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