I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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