Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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