I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
