Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
