Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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