i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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