i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
