i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize