I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
