your parents love me but you hate me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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