It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
