I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
