so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
