that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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