I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
