I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
