There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
