My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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