Having a random hookup so left but love u
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
