its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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