Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize