This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All I want is dick and wine.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
